This is another long-form post, written across my time in Paros, Greece and at the Athens airport (you'll see why very soon)... If you'd like to subscribe to receive my letters via email and haven't already, you can do so here:
I’m sitting at a cafe in Paros, a small Greek island, writing to you. Thank you so much everyone who read my first long-form post in the New Earth series (many of you said it felt like a letter from a friend, and I love that): The Accidental First Latte in 5 Years that Gave Me a Taste of the New Earth
If you missed that post, maybe read it first so that this one will make more sense.
Since that beautiful, synchronistic day on Corfu, we’ve had many more magical days. We flew to Santorini for a few days, and then took the ferry to Paros. So many stunning, magical days, and at the same time — I noticed myself “trying” to get back to the frequency of that day I wrote about on Corfu. I was still walking in appreciation, and yet — I felt a bit more in my head, a bit duller in my body.
And that’s okay, this is life. We are constantly fluctuating in frequency. In addition to our physical state, which can shift greatly day-to-day depending on sleep, hydration, food, any illnesses or pain, time of the month, whether we’ve exercised or meditated, etc… we are also dealing with constantly-fluctuating energy levels.
I found myself wondering, “Is it really that simple, to just choose a higher-frequency timeline, to drop into my heart, to be present and open to every moment?”
When I’m in a higher frequency, the answer is: “Yes. Yes, it really is that simple. And it can be easy.”
When I’m in a lower frequency, it is a lot muddier. My mind goes: “But I’m tired. I can’t shift this. This is the way I feel today. It is what it is.”
I don’t want to be chasing a high — this isn’t what it’s about. But I am tired of the ups and downs. So often, I feel like I’ve anchored a deeper knowing and energetic shift, only to notice myself shifting back into old patterns.
Joel has mentioned this many times himself. The more conscious you become, the more aware you are of yourself, the harder it can feel to let go… you will be hyper-aware of yourself when you are NOT feeling connected or honoring your inner guidance — you will notice the gap between how you feel and how you want to feel.
You will notice your mind and all of its chatter.
And perhaps knowing that you CAN shift this energy, that you have shifted this before — this can feel like a heavy weight. It can feel like a burden, instead of empowering.
(From a higher perspective, I know I have shifted SO much… We have all shifted so much. It’s hard to see, because we do fluctuate with every day — but if you zoom out, you will see that the overall trajectory has been up and up. Higher and higher. Deeper and deeper. More and more connected.)
What is the key, though, to navigating THIS moment — when you’re not feeling connected to yourself?… When you notice yourself judging yourself or feeling bad that you’re not feeling good?
It’s the same key, I guess, to how to shift out of it:
Deep appreciation for THIS moment, just the way it is. Not needing to fix it, change it, or make it mean something negative about yourself. Receiving it with open arms, even when it doesn’t feel good.
Knowing THIS is exactly where you’re meant to be, exactly what you’re meant to experience, right now. Because it is giving you the gift of this insight. It is allowing you to see deeper, to feel more.
IT IS EASY TO LOVE YOURSELF WHEN YOU FEEL GOOD.
BUT LOVE YOURSELF WHEN YOU FEEL BAD — THAT IS THE NEXT EDGE.
Joel and I reflected on this, one of the days we were both feeling a bit run down and in our heads. It’s not that we feel really bad, not even close. We are having such a magical time, we are so grateful, we are soaking it in.
And yet. We now KNOW what it feels like to be fully connected, fully in our hearts, fully in divine flow. We know how good that feels. We know what is possible.
And it’s okay, to notice the gap. To feel like something is missing. To feel like we haven’t been listening to the inner guidance that is telling us to breathe. Relax. Trust. Be here now. No rush. No worry. No resistance.
Some mornings, I feel that nudge, telling me: “Go meditate.” And I ignore it. Other days, I do meditate — but I can’t drop in, and I don’t feel any better from it. And then, there are those days… I do meditate, I do drop in, and I allow myself to just be here now. And it shifts the energy, the trajectory, of my day.
It’s totally a first-world problem, but even on our travels, we are noticing when we are in our heads, trying to plan and control, not trusting in the flow of life.
Joel has been planning most of this trip — researching accommodation, booking flights, finding hidden gems and places to eat. There is a certain level of planning in advance that is necessary to allow us to be in the flow later on. For example, booking accommodation and flights in advance allows us to relax where we are, without worrying about needing to research the next leg. At the same time, when we overdo the planning and spend so much time on our phones, researching more options for places to eat and things to do… when we start feeling drained from it, that’s when we are getting in the way of the divine flow. Blocking any possible synchronicities that want to come in.
There is a harmony and balance to it all — between creating structure and room for flow.
I know some people are comfortable with completely going with the flow, going wherever the wind takes them and not needing to book anything in advance. But for us (and our personalities), this feels like a stretch — it would be too stressful, and we would feel more relaxed if we had the basic structure set in advance.
I guess I got the best of both worlds as I’m trusting Joel with the main structure (and we do choose the accommodation and flights together, it’s just he has stepped up to research and organize them.) He also enjoys surprising me with hidden beaches and spots, so I get to just BE and receive when he does this, too.
At the same time, I love it when we have completely open days where we both have no idea of how it’s going to unfold (except knowing we have a place to sleep) — and seeing the magic that floods in.
More of this.
Leaning into the discomfort of NOT knowing, not controlling, not planning — and teaching our nervous systems that this is safe. This is fun. This is possible.
There is so much rewiring and unlearning happening here. Many things to unlearn, and rewrite.
(Written 2 days later)
Haha! A couple days have elapsed since I started writing this, and now I’m at the airport in Athens. I can’t believe I was just writing about this (letting go of control, not planning) — because we have been here for 7 hours already after missing our flight to Ibiza via Paris (and therefore missing our connecting flight).
We booked a new flight several hours ago, and just now, we found out it has been cancelled. And so, it’s 6:30pm and we have no flights, no accommodation (except the one we booked in Ibiza, where we were supposed to stay from tonight).
After a lot of scrambling, we’ve booked new flights (there’s no direct flight to Ibiza, so we’re going via Barcelona). We can’t get a refund for the first two flights we missed (except the tax refund of about 120 Euros), so we’ve just been sighing and feeling disappointed with ourselves.
(Our missed flight was a different airline from the first, so they couldn't help rebook us).
Ah, well. This is part of the travel adventure. There’s nothing we can do now.
This is what happened…
We arrived in Athens this morning on a flight from Paros, with an hour to make our next flight. We made it through baggage claim quickly, but the check-in line was long, and we thought about asking someone at the airline to assist us in getting through ahead of those waiting for a later flight, because our flight would be boarding soon… But a random lady near the counter, who looked and talked as if she works at the airline, told us to go to the back of the line because everyone here is also late for the same flight to Paris. Turns out, she doesn’t work at the airline — she’s just a random lady and she didn’t know what she was talking about. But, for some reason in that moment, we were too shy/complacent to be pushy, so we went to the back of the line.
In a way, we were both really relaxed and complacent about it – we really thought that we were going to make our flight.
We asked the girls lining up in front of us where they were going, and they said Paris — so we thought, oh right, everyone is running late too for the same flight.
It turns out, they meant they were on the 2pm Paris flight — not our 11:30am Paris flight.
We ignored our intuition several times, and this is where we ended up.
As I’m reminded by the theme in this post, I get to practice staying in my heart. Staying conscious. Staying relaxed, through it all.
Using my own words, from above:
Lean into the discomfort of NOT knowing, not controlling, not planning — and teach our nervous systems that this is safe.
Often, we don’t really know why things happen the way they do.
Maybe we weren’t meant to be on that flight.
Maybe we were meant to see what it feels like, yet again, to ignore our intuition and shrink back. So that next time, we listen.
Maybe we’re meant to stay the night near the airport in Barcelona (because that’s where our new connecting flight departs from tomorrow morning).
Maybe we’re learning how to roll with the punches and go with the flow, especially when all of our plans and expectations collapse.
Maybe it simply happened, so that I could be sitting here now, writing this post — to reach all of you.
Maybe it’s for all of these reasons, or none of them.
This awakening is not a linear process. In many ways, the truths are simple — but embodying and fully living them is another beast altogether. But we did not come here because it would be easy. We came here, for the full adventure of it — including the rollercoaster. We came here to be challenged, to journey into the deepest depths of ourselves, to see for ourselves what it’s like to rise above it all and walk in mastery.
This is a journey of mastery. And you are here because you are doing it, you have done it, you have brought yourself here over lifetimes.
It takes many lifetimes to walk into mastery. And this is the lifetime where you become the master of it all.
On a brighter note, here are some photos of our trip recently.
Written with love,